Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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