I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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