I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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