I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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