I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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