She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
