dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just threw up on my dentist
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
