Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize