I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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