he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
