so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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