Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
