another moral hangover. fuck.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize