theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
