You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
