you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
