I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
