You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
