Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
