if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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