OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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