Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
