we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
