good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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