apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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