tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
