remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
