but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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