just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
