watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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