Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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