I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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