summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
one might say we're banned from that church
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
