Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
