After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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