Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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