yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
