Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
