That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
