so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am one with the molecules
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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