I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
