I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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