It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
