I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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