it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
