This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
