It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
