I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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