Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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