I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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