Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
nutella sex= disaster
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
