Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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