you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
