two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just had sex on a roof
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
