Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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