Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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