Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
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