I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize