it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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