And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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