Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
