they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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