I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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