I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
