I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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