I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
