We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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